If cryptocurrencies had brutally honest slogans, what would they be?

I've been thinking for a long time how most cryptocurrencies have lousy or dishonest marketing slogans. So here's an idea:

Let’s presume we could rebrand all cryptocurrencies, without the help of creative marketing agencies and PR professionals. But this time we'd aim to create honest and straightforward slogans. No holding back. It can be a dig, a simple and honest statement, anything that you and others may find interesting or funny. Hell, even serious ones are welcome.

If cryptocurrencies had brutally honest slogans, what would they be?